Uh…well…not technically, but I’m subbing for the master prediction, TSF football, expert dude…yeah this week. Don’t panic folks, he’ll be back next week doing what he does.

Let’s start this thing off right.

Dallas @ Washington 8:15 Sunday Night NBC: Who is gonna be Don Zimmer tonight? Portis is a no go, but so what? Romo will be too busy thinking about his sweetie touch and his poor wittle pinky. If they lose this one and Terrell has a 3 catch 26 yard night, he will go off. Trust.

Redskins mug the Cowgirlsboys 27-17

Denver @ Atlanta 1:00 CBS: Mark it down. If Atlanta ends with a winning record, Matt Ryan will win ROY in a landslide. Well, he’s the Vick Dome today as Cutler goes Elway.

Broncos go hard on the Falcons 38-28

Philadelphia @ Cincy 1:00 FOX: Stories this week had Ocho Cinco reaching out to who should have been his quarterback this season. 85 is a better teammate but “For who, For What?” Someone needs to blindfold Andy Reid and let him call plays for a Pop Warner team out of Kensington so he gets bricked. Straight up, but it won’t matter today. Demps gets a run back and Westbrook goes for 100 plus and two.

Philly runs over the lame duck coach to the chorus of boos 28-3

Chicago @ Green Bay 1:00 FOX: When I think of this rivalry, I think of dudes gummin’ snow, stained helmets, bloody thigh pads and linebackers with no teef. It’s lost its luster with New York Brett evading the Moss spectacular, but I can still hear John Facenda’s voice boom poetic climatic from the heavens narrating a Devin Hester dramatic throwback in the snow. Hester is the fist except without the ring.

Chicago runs back Green Bay 17-14

Houston @ Indy 1:00 CBS: Gauge how many holds and helds Houston’s offensive lineman throw at Freeney today. Nothing to see here. Indy is back on track and might put up 40.

Imagine Dungy with a Dave Stewart scowl 44-17

New Orleans @ Kansas City 1:00 FOX: Man…you gotta feel for Herman Edwards. He’s a coach in every sense of the word. He transcends eras. I can see him barking “Gimme 50 pushups…son.” Guess what? Kansas City gets it done today. Yeah I said it. Your boy Brees is putting up bombs from West Lafayette, but where are the wins?

Arrowhead chews up Reggie Bush 20-10

Oakland @ Miami 1:00 CBS: The Wildcat reminds me of high school running the Wing T. Other teams are running it, but no one does it like Miami. There’s excitement where the fishes sleep again. JaMarcus’ education continues. If there was a comeback player of the year in the NFL, Ricky Williams would win it.

Miami rolls up Oakland and boats ‘em 24-3

Baltimore @ New York Football Giants 1:00 CBS: Coming off the Giants dramatic win against Philly last weekend and no rest? Nah, Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs look to sting black and rock blue. No blowout here, but the Giants keep it movin’.

Giants play with the Ravens just enough to get a win 13-10

Minny @ Tampa 1:00 FOX: All Day runs to the land of the run stopper. This isn’t your Pop Pop’s Tampa D, but it’s still effective and Chucky is still making all the crazy ass faces. Still, Adrian Peterson will do what he does to everyone and his defense will back him up.

Peterson gets 150 and Minny is not so nice 20-17

Detroit @ Carolina 1:00 FOX: Before the season began, I picked Calvin Johnson as Offensive Player of the Year. Mad wreck, but he’s quietly having a decent season even though his team sucks. CJ and Steve Smith go at it and light up the scoreboard but Carolina is way too much for Detroit to handle. Over game.

Panthers beat up the Lions 30-14

4:00 picks coming at halftime.

4:00 games

Arizona @ Seattle 4:00 FOX: The Cardinals are slowly but surely becoming a team deserving more national recognition. Anquan Boldin, Larry Fitzgerald and Steve Breaston (Go Blue!) are punishing defenses every week running up and down and through the middle of the field. Offense is almost unstoppable. Kurt Warner is looking like 1 yard 2000. The whole community, not the house on the over.

Anquan Boldin. 35-30

St. Louis Rams @ San Francisco 49′ers 4:00 FOX: Yeah…I finally get to talk about Mike Singletary? Put me in coach. I’d bust a whole through the stadium so the knothole gang can get a good look at the game from the outside. If you wouldn’t want to play for Mike, then maybe you should make an appointment with the OB/GYN before it’s too late. San Fran once again will be a model organization because of his commitment to excellence and desire.

The eyes have it 24-17

San Diego @ Pittsburgh 4:00 CBS: Marquee match up regardless of records. A lot of talent will be showcased on Hines Field. The Chargers don’t know who the hell they are, so Blitzburgh attack!

Ya better have your head on a swivel, or Hines will cold rock ya 27-10

Tennessee Titans @ Jacksonville Jaguars 4:00 CBS: The end of the road. The Titans are good, but not 19-0 good. Too big of a rivalry. Del Rio will have his boys up big for this one. If you are in Jacksonville, Albert Haynesworth will be in your living room all day and Chris Johnson will have some big runs, but Jax will pull it out late.

Titans go down 24-20

Monday Night Football 8:30 ESPN

Cleveland Browns @ Buffalo Bills: Brady Quinn gets his chance to shine with Braylon and the boys on the national stage, but not this time young fella. Happy feet is the only dance he’ll be doing.

Bills get back on track 23-20

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